Attitude Is Everything - 5 Things That Can Help Long Distance Relationships

The past few weeks have been rough! Like super, oh my god what is happening to us rough! There has been some pretty harsh bickering and some disagreements. We are working through them slowly but I wanted to get out there some tips that I have learned really work for long distance disagreements.

1. Misreading Messages. If you have been stewing all day on what you want to say or expecting a reply to a question from your SO chances are that you might work yourself up to mis-read the message. Take a breathe and pretend that they are face to face with you and think of them saying it to you. My Hubby has a kind of dry, very stern way of talking sometimes so I always over read and think he is being a jerk but in reality that is how he normally says everything and I might be a tad bit sensitive.

2. Attitude. Sometimes my attitude gets the best of me and I can be short or condescending. I have to remind myself that if these are the only messages I am going to get to send to him all day, do I really want to take out my day on him? No the answer is no, so I am working on realizing that he has no idea what I have been through that day but just wants to talk to the awesome amazing wife he knows he has! Hahaha (oh yea I am full of it today!) Seriously though, same thing goes for him its okay to know that they are in a bad mood and end the conversation early sometimes it is for the best.

3. Communication is key! If something is bothering you or you are upset. Get it out! It will only get worse if you hold it in. There have been a few times where I have gotten upset or mad and held it in for days or weeks only to completely blow up and him literally laugh in my face because if I would have just told him we could have fixed it immediately.

4. It is okay to have some down time. I have two kids and a dog that I have to take care of so there are sometimes not many that I know I have to put down my phone to be able to get everything done. He understands this and its not the end of the world! Just means I have even more things I can tell him about tomorrow.

5. Sometimes all it takes is a Hello! Just hearing his voice sometimes fixes everything and sometimes I just need a minute. You have no idea a simple one minute phone call can mean to some people. I have walked out of movies, diners, and family outings to just hear his voice for one minute to tell me good night! That minute is completely worth it!

I am still learning and working on what works for our long distance relationship. We are pushing two and a half years and I might have gotten to spend three months with him. Not everyone is the same but these are just some of my tips.

I would love to hear about what works for others! Comment below or send me a message.

Other Side of The World Problems.

So for the most part I hold everything together really well without my Husband. I can deal with sleeping alone (not really ever alone because the six year old and the 3 month old take over my bed) and I have completely gotten used to being the third or fifth wheel with my friends so that doesn't really bother me either. Sometimes the smallest things can get to you, especially when you are doing solo parenting.

These are just some of the things that just make me go absolutely insane. It is no ones fault and I actually encourage him to do these things but I am still a typical woman that has completely pointless meltdowns but sometimes just getting them out and expressing the butt hurtness makes it better.

"Hey babe I'm going to the movies I'll talk to you in a bit" just the fact that I would love to just go to the movies by myself is a huge thing. Just to sit there in quite and be able to actually listen to the movie without having to press pause. Don't get me wrong we both love going to the movies so I tell him all the time to go I just wish I was there to go too.

"We are going out I'll call you when you get home" I have tried numerous times to go out with friends for birthdays and holidays but in all honesty it just sucks. It actually makes you feel more lonely if that is even possible. Lucky for me I have one of the good ones that has never missed a phone call in over two years but I would love to have an adult night every once in awhile that included him!

Believe it or not just seeing him being able to lay in bed and watch Netflix just all over makes me sad. I should be there. Why can't I be there?

There are so many strange feelings you get when you are apart and it's very little hints that trigger the sadness and as a spouse we just have to learn how to deal with them.

I have learned that working out is an outlet (kickboxing mostly) because you can turn that sadness into energy and kick it's butt! Reading helps and also just being around friends. Even though some times being the odd person out makes me sad the majority of the time they cheer me up without even knowing I am sad.

What are some things that make you miss your SO more than normal or things that pull on your heart strings? I would love to hear them! Comment below or feel free to message me!

Beachbody Results - 2nd Month

So this is my 2nd month working as a Beachbody Coach and working with BOD. (Beachbody on Demand) I love it! Now, I am human and I break down and have a cheeseburger or a cheesecake break with my bestie, Whiskey is still my spirit animal but I am still seeing results. Not to mention dealing with a baby with reflux which in itself is the most exhausting workout I have ever been through.

Here are my results from my first 21DayFix. I took the black short picture on the day I started and I took this picture at the end.

You can tell a huge different in my back and sides but you can tell I have lost the bloating and puffiness from eating better. (My tattoo is actually going back to its original spot hahaha)

I have only lost 5lbs but I have gained back my muscle mass. (Muscle will always weight more than fat!) Now my Mother on the other hand is still down 20+ pounds and I will be working on her eating this week so I am gonna get some more results out of her if possible.

This is only the beginning and I am not stopping any time soon! I am changing my life style not just dieting and I am putting in the work not just drinking the shake.

If you would like to purchase your first Challenge pack click here:

Challenge Pack

This Challenge pack is still on special for the month of September and includes 1 year subscription to BOD (Beachbody on Demand), your 21dayfix meal plan, 21dayfix portion containers, and your first 30 day supply of Shakeology. Plus you would get me as your Coach! A real person how has struggles and cheat meals but I want to get better and put in the work so it is a learning experience for every one!

For more information on Shakelogy please check out my blog post on it!
Shakeology- The next best this to dessert. 

If you have any questions regarding Coaching or you want more info on Beachbody and what its about please comment below and let me know.

If you are a researcher like me check these out too.

How do I afford Shakeology?
What I Invested in My Beachbody Business. 

You Catch More Flies

My Grandmother used to tell me all the time "you catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar." I never really cared to take it to heart until the last few years. Between working in Property Management & my current situation I just don't understand the need to be overly hateful to someone for no reason. Being passive aggressive and asinine will not get someone to do what you want no more than punching them square in the nose.

So since I have been steaming over certain situations for a few days I figured I would give some pointers on how to deal with such people.

1. Manners cost nothing but mean everything. You would be shocked at how far a simple please & thank you will take you in this world. Now some people might not be as sensitive about them as I might be but then again I am southern. There was this thing in my childhood called a switch. If you know what this is then chances are you were taught manners as well.

2. Don't look at me in that tone of voice. So everyone has heard of making a good first impression but there is also such a thing when it comes to your tone of voice that you use with others. If your first three words come out with a condescending tone my reply will also be based off of that tone. That is no way to start a conversation.

3. Walking away. Sometimes drama filled people just need that attention and they will get it in anyway possible. Even if it is negative attention. The best thing you can do is just walk away & ignore it. Kind of like the T-rex in Jurassic Park if you don't move it can't see you. Well, if you don't give them the attention they want they will move on to someone else who will. Do not stoop to their level.

4.Take responsibility for your actions. This is the lesson I am trying to get through my Daughter's head lately. Do not play the victim. If you messed up just admit it. 9 times out of 10 whatever happened was a mistake and can easily be fixed but just like I explain to her when she throws her hands up and says " I didn't do it." Um, Eva you are the only person in the room and I don't think Casper the friendly ghost lives with us. Blaming others for your problems will get you no where.

5. Keep calm & follow the golden rule. Treat others the way you expect to be treated. When I go into a business I treat people with respect because I want them to treat me with respect.

6. You have to give a little to get a little. Friendship and family are not one way dirt roads in Alabama. It is not the responsibility of someone else to keep you updated with current events. That is not a job description. When I want to know how my brother is I call him or when I want to know how big my best friends twins have gotten I text her. I don't burst into spontaneous flames or start crying blood it does not physically harm me in any way. Life is not a book report and you are not my teacher and if you want a life time play by play join me on twitter!

So for now I will keep the little bird with my Grandmother's voice on my shoulder and try my best. If you have any advice on dealing with toxic people I would love to hear it! Please comment below and follow me for more updates!

When You Find Out Your Husband Is Coming Home!

1. Shave all the things! (Well not all the things) Please tell me I am not the only one who slacks when he isn't home!

2. Clean all the things! It is like spring cleaning every time he comes home! Not a speck of dust is safe! (Insert evil laugh here) Even the dog gets scrubbed down! 

3. Hide all evidence that I drink way to much when he is gone! I always tell him Sailor Jerry is my 2nd favorite Sailor! 

4. I always attempt to try and plan fun things like trips & parties with friends. They fall through about 50% of the time. 

5. Get the emotional roller coaster over with. I am excited, impatient, annoyed because its taking so long, want time to slow down because I have so much to do, try on every freaking thing in my closet, cry because I am happy its over and then start the crash down because he will only be here for two weeks.  

Someone please tell me I am not the only one! Who else has a homecoming ritual? I need a list, list making makes me calm! 

The Gruesome Twosome When Daddy is Away!

When I was pregnant with my Son I knew my Husband was going to have to go back over seas and of course that freaked me out a little bit but I held it together pretty well. After all I basically had my Daughter by myself and she is still alive. Even when it came time for him to leave I held it together for a few days. We were a team, we actually played the tap out game with the baby when he was born. Since my diagnosis of PPD it has been a slippery slope but it has all been internal and hasn't effected the kiddos! 

Yesterday and last night was the first time the toll of having two really hit me. I can handle the morning commute with the 6 year old and the nightly feedings with the baby but yesterday just cracked me up! It made me miss my Husband like crazy. 

So I woke up in a fantastic mood because the 2 month old slept the ENTIRE night! Like start to alarm clock, not one peep! Got the 6 year old up and the complaining started, I am sleepy, I don't want to go to school, and I don't feel good. Got her breakfast made and was feeding the baby his and in the distance I heard her start coughing and then the dreading sound of gagging. Before I could even put the baby down she was running in to the room throwing up. 

I could have just sat down in the floor right there and cried. 

After getting her cleaned up and all the puke cleaned up I was able to get her some meds and back in bed. Thank goodness for my Mom because I don't know what I would do without her help! I now completely understand why most military wives don't work. The world is not made for single working moms! Hell I can't even figure out how to go to my Daughter's school events because apparently teachers don't realize that some parents might work until six o'clock every night and their 5pm event is almost impossible to get to and then I become the bad guy when I explain that we can't go! Off to work I go, the 6th of the month is the most important day of the month in my job so calling out was not an option. 

9 hours later I finally get to come home, my Mom is exhausted so I let her off the hook. Then it hits you like a ton of bricks all the things you have to do before bed. Again, I felt the over whelming urge to go crawl in the corner with my Husband's picture and cry. I put my big girl pants on and here is how the night went. 

  Between the two of them I was exhausted but as I look at my gruesome twosome all snuggled up and sleeping I wouldn't change a thing except to have my partner in crime back! 

There are so many nights I feel pulled in to many directions. Did i give my Daughter enough one on one time or did I not have enough time to let Gray have some tummy time? I feel like she spent all night on the Ipad and I listened to Grayson cry for about two hours. Worst of all when I am just so exhausted all I can come up with for dinner is pancakes. 

Shout out to all the working moms who kick butt and still manage to get everything done at the end of the day! I really did think I would be fine that I would have this completely under control. Truth is I do but I don't. They don't know any different but parenting guilt is a real thing and exhaustion is something serious. 

For any other Moms out there working to survive when the Daddy person is away I am right there with you! With any luck you have a glass of wine with your name on it just like I do! 

I would love to hear how other Mom's survive on a daily basis! 

The PPD Chronicles

So I have been avoiding talking about this to anyone for months & I am pretty sure that is exactly what they tell you not to do. I put it off that I had extenuating circumstances and I would a tough cookie that would bounce back in no time.

Um Wrong!

I noticed something was wrong the second we got home from the hospital. I couldn't sleep and I had zero energy. There were more times than I could count that I had to run to the bathroom to hide the random tears from my Husband. Why was I sad? I had a handsome healthy baby boy & I had my Husband for an entire month.

No matter how hard I tried I still couldn't shake it. I realize that there are many different levels of PPD and some way more severe to the point of self harm. Mine isn't like that at all, it is more like a dark cloud over head all the time. No matter how much fun you are having the second you sit the sadness comes back and you find yourself looking off into the distance with tears welling up in your eyes. It is beyond frustrating!

Even with a new happy pill prescription and a mood stabilizer as I like to call it, it doesn't seem any different. It gets worse at night, when no one is around, and the only thing you hear is your thoughts. The thoughts are never happy. By the time my Husband calls I am so worked up that in my mind his voice sounds angry & I can barely hold back tears. This is the same person that I have never missed a phone call from, that just hearing his voice could fix everything. Depression is a wicked & cruel black hole.

Well, whats wrong? 

I have heard this question a lot lately. The answer is nothing. Honestly, I have nothing wrong I can't pinpoint why I feel the tears rise, not being able to sleep, or push through to force a smile. I have zero explanation for it.

The worst part is that people around you get angry because they don't understand. It is hard telling my Husband that I am sad for no reason and that I want to lash out in anger because the voice that once hung the moon now makes me want to cry hysterically.

There is hope!

I have been rest assured it does get better and I will be able to work through it! Might just have to write about it more! I would love to hear about someones experience with postpartum depression and what you did to work through it! Comment below.

Did I Know What I Was Getting Into?

I received a message tonight from another new military wife who asked me if I knew what I was getting into after she read my pregnancy alone post. I took a minute two write back as I had no idea how to reply.

After a few messages I realized that I wasn't the only person she asked. She was going through a genuine battle of wills with her mind and reaching out and researching the best she could. I completely understood as I looked up everything possible to help me understand what my husband was saying when we were dating. (Google was my friend)

My answer was no, I had no freaking idea what I was getting into when my relationship started with my husband. I didn't have any friends that grew up with a military family and I knew my Dad was in the Army in Vietnam but I never heard him talk about it. I knew absolutely nothing!

I know this sounds completely cheesy but I didn't know what I was getting into and I didn't care. Even from the other side of the world my husband made me feel special and became my best friend when I really needed one. I fell in love with the person I could talk to and vent to. The person that never missed a phone call and laughed at my crazy baby taking over our nightly conversations.

We have been married for six months now and I still don't 100% know what I am getting into with being a military family. I know the distance sucks but I work through it and I know that everntually I will get to see his face every morning and that gives me hope. I don't know what it's like to live on base yet or what it's like to move my kids around but I am completely looking forward to figureing it out! I am starting to figure out that my career will come second to his as I have been told I wasn't eligible for promotion because I am moving in a few months and that's okay. I have had the entire load of life on my shoulders for way to long so I am happy to have someone to share it with.

Every situation and relationship is different so you can't compare everything but sometimes you just have to wait it out. I waited for over a year just to see his smiling face in the same state as me.

At 28 years old I started to learn patience! I have no idea what I am getting myself into but I can't wait to find out!

Fall Into Fitness - 21DayFix

September 4th I will be co-hosting my first challenge group!

We are going to be working with 21DayFix and the meal plan that follows!

These groups are amazing because it is women empowering women! Ever think you are alone with the frustration of your baby being up all night with gas? Just to tired when you get home from work to think about working out? Does a nap and a pizza sound good to you? Then you need this group!

I learned that seeing other moms going through the same problems as me helps me get my booty butt off that couch and finish that 30 minute work out!

Last night I sat for two hours with a screaming baby boy who has horrible gas and nothing seems to help him. When I finally broke down and felt the tears start to rise I put him down on his mat and started my workout! Wanna know what happened? His little butt started laughing! I had been trying everything I could think of to get this kid to calm down and seeing mommy do jumping jacks apparently did the trick!

I felt extremely accomplished and it even helped with my sleeping problems I have been having this week! So here is a perfect example of a 21DayFix meal plan! Your challenge pack will come with every thing you need!

This Challenge pack will come with your first 30 day supply of Shakeology (I always suggest the trio so you can try the different flavors), portion control tupperware, a personal meal plan, and 1 year of Beachbody on Demand! You can't beat this deal and it is only for the month of September!

Get your challenge pack here!

Remember Shakeology has a 30 Day money back guarantee!!! So you can use all the packs and send them back empty and you will get a full refund!

We will be posting results as well so sign up for email updates! Please comment below if you are interested in joining or if you have any questions!!

For more information on Shakeology go here!